Wesker's Weakness
by Lord Drash
Summary: One-shot of the final battle in Resident Evil 5, only this time Chris and Sheva use the ultimate weapon.


**Wesker's Weakness**

Chris fired off one shot into the skull of a charging Majini, killing the vicious creature. He lowered his smoking gun, bulging muscles bulging like the muscles of a horrendously strong person. He turned to Sheva who was pulling her knife out of another Majini.

"That's the last of them?" Chris asked as he reloaded his pistol.

"Yes. Now we shall face Wesker and avenge my fallen brothers!" Sheva said passionately, cleaning off and then sheathing her knife.

"Yes," Chris said, raising a hand to caution her burgeoning enthusiasm, before it burgeoned too much, "But he is a mighty opponent! If our life was a video game I would rate him as the final boss!"

Sheva looked puzzled. "But if our life was a video game, wouldn't Death be the final boss? In all technicality I mean."

Chris shook his head. "No. I view Death as more of an optional or secret boss, rather than the final one, since you can not beat it, even if you have the best guns ever made."  
"But it is not secret, everyone knows about Death and it is not optional as you have to face it in order to die, which everyone except for maybe Wesker must do."

"Which brings me back to my point!" Chris said excitedly. "We must defeat Wesker. For your brothers!"

"Who have fallen!" Sheva said passionately.

"Right! Now we have the injection thing that will weaken him," Chris said, showing the needle full of delicious looking fluid, "But how we will get it in him?"

"Jab him with it?"  
"No, he's too fast. We must weaken him first!"

"Maybe we should shoot him!" Sheva said, excitedly hefting that shotgun they found in the building that was locked with a key.

"No, he dodges bullets. That won't work."  
"What if we loaded the syringe in one of the guns and shot that at him?"

"Hmm, clever. If we mixed it in with the bullets, he wouldn't know whether to dodge a bullet or dodge a syringe! It just might work!"

"I'm very clever!" Sheva said proudly.

"Yes, but we'll need more than that. We have to weaken him…if only there was something…"  
"Well," Sheva said, scratching her head. "I have all of _these_. I've been collecting them the whole time we have been in Africa, because Africa has lots of _these_."

Chris looked over the items. "That just might work. As will our syringe bullet plan!"

Confident, the two walk into the final boss area…little did they know they would also face next boss!

Wesker waited, confident that he would be able to stop whatever foolish plan Chris and Sheva tried to pull. His superior speed and strength was superior to the speed and strength of Chris and Sheva and was therefore better.

When he heard the mechanical doors creak open behind him, he turned slowly, his evil features turning upwards into an eviler grin. His grin stayed on as he ducked a bullet sent his way by Chris and remained plastered as he tossed his sunglasses at Sheva.

She smacked them away, firing like mad as Wesker dodged, evaded and rolled away from the shots, seeming to teleport behind Chris and Sheva. With a brutal backhand he sent Sheva tumbling but then had to twist his body to avoid Chris's machete. He slipped past another swing, grabbed Chris's shirt and threw him like a Terminator off the platform they were on.

Chris crashed to the ground and groaned as he felt his ribs creak. Before he could recover Wesker hopped down and raised a hand, only to feel a slight tingling sensation on the nape of his neck that was the only warning as Sheva leapt down, tossing a flash grenade.

Wesker cursed his lack of sunglasses as he blinked frantically trying to clear his supernatural vision. A whisper of movement to his left drew his attention and he snapped his leg out, catching Sheva in the stomach and hurling her into the wall. She crumpled down, gasping for breath and Wesker managed to clear away the last of the flash blocking his vision. Eagerly he turned towards Chris, only to catch a glimpse of him diving away. Looking down Wesker spotted a red object still clattering slightly from being dropped on the ground.

"Argh!" Wesker shouted, as he realized it was an Incendiary Grenade and he started to blur away from it, just as a second object was thrown in his path. Following the path's trajectory he saw Sheva smirking before he turned his catlike gaze back on the…Explosive Grenade!

He heard the Incendiary go off with a hiss of escaping flames, but he was too preoccupied with turning sharply to avoid the explosion. He may have been fast, but even he had a little difficulty turning that fast. The edge of the explosion caught him and sent him flying through the tail end of the Incendiary's flames. Angrily he put out the fire on his super-cool trench coat jacket thing and turned blazing eyes towards his foes.

"Is that best you have? Some fancy grenade tricks? I laugh at you!" Wesker said, punctuating his statement with a laugh.

"Not quite," Chris said with a wicked grin, reaching into his many-pocketed vest. He tossed the object at Wesker, who blurred out of the way. He started to move towards Chris, when he heard the object hit the ground with a wet splat. Puzzled, he turned around and saw…an egg. Splattered on the ground.

He stared at it for longer than he ever stared at anything, except for that Tyrant thing that killed him for one time and then a sickening smell assaulted his super-nose. He reeled, crying out and clutching his face.

"Oh by the way," Sheva said, tossing an egg at Wesker, "Some of these are rotten."

He was too startled to dodge the egg and it crashed into his face with all the force an egg could muster. The gooey yolk slid down his perfectly perfect nose and mouth, filling his nose with the stink of smelly egg and his mouth with the soggy taste of also smelly egg.

He felt the soft impact of another egg hitting his chest and then Chris joined in the assault, smacking him in the back with more eggs. Soon Wesker fell to his knees, moaning as the yolk flowed through his James Marsters like hair, ruining it forever.

Chris and Sheva stood before Wesker, quivering on the floor, covered in egg and moaning about how unwonderful this all was.

"Should we inject him now?" Sheva asked, gesturing to her gun.

"But we still have some eggs left," Chris said, chucking one at Wesker.

"True. And my brothers are still fallen."

So the two continued to throw eggs at Wesker.

And thus, the day was saved. No villains ever dared to arise in a world that punished them so severely after that, and Wesker's therapy sessions were unable to restore his dreams of megalomania. He was a bitter broken man, and there was much rejoicing.


End file.
